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In the “Could Someone Pass Me the Sportswriters’ Psychedelic Mushrooms?” category: Alabama jumps ahead of Texas in the AP Poll.

October 12, 2009 by Al Kenmore

A quick check of the new AP poll has me wondering if the nation’s sportswriters actually watched the Alabama – Ole Miss and the Texas – Colorado games from beginning to end. I think that they must have watched the last half of the Alabama game and the first half of the Texas game and then succumbed to the temptations of mind altering substances. Just look at the third graph of the AP story on their own poll:

The Crimson Tide moved up one spot after rolling over Mississippi 22-3. Texas, which had been No. 2 all season, slipped a spot after sputtering early in a 38-14 victory against Colorado.

And the ones that Mother gives you don't do anything at all, but Mom wasn't feeding the sportswriters on Saturday.

And the ones that Mother gives you don't do anything at all, but Mom wasn't feeding the sportswriters on Saturday.

There is just so much wrong with this statement that it boggles the non altered mind. First of all, the last time I checked, a 22-3 win is a margin of 19 points. Secondly, the last time I checked, a 38-14 win is a margin of 24 points. Now, I realize that Mississippi was ranked going into the game with Alabama and Colorado wasn’t, but for what reason, exactly? A 52-6 stomping of Southeastern Louisiana? And, okay, Colorado was 1-3, but when did that kind of thing matter in the past?

Both Alabama and Texas struggled in their opening halves. At halftime, the score of the Alabama-Mississippi game was 16-3, and 9 of Alabama’s 16 were field goals because they couldn’t make anything happen in the red zone until the half was almost over. In the second half, Alabama only scored six more points. Meanwhile, Texas started their second half down by 4 and ended up scoring 24 points to win.

Now, before you start wondering if I have something against Alabama, let me set the record straight. I like Alabama just fine. I’m also a big SEC football fan. I, along with an overwhelming majority of southerners, am willing to say that, right now, it’s the best and most exciting football conference in the country. However, that does not mean that, each time a highly ranked SEC team beats an over ranked SEC team, they should leap over another undefeated FBS team in the Top 10. Alabama should have beaten Mississippi by more than 16 and with more than one touchdown. Missisippi’s offense all but handed them the ball and they still only scored a touchdown. Texas’s margin of victory over Colorado is about right.

Mia, for heaven's sakes, he screwed over your university.

Mia, for heaven's sakes, he screwed over your university.

And, I’m no big Texas fan. Their head coach is the Benedict Arnold of college football, Mr. Mack “I’m Not Planning to Leave Chapel Hill” Brown (yes, I’m still bitter). And true to his coaching style, at Texas, Mack has failed to deliver with some of his more talented teams—just as he always seemed to come up short against Florida State when he was coach at UNC. But fair is fair. If Texas were to play Alabama next week, I think Texas would win.

So, this week, the coaches got it right. And the sportswriters got high. That’s the only way to explain the AP poll.

In the “Could Someone Pass Me the Sportswriters’ Psychedelic Mushrooms?” category: Alabama jumps ahead of Texas in the AP Poll.
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Posted in Probably Over Your Head | 10 Comments

10 Responses

  1. on October 12, 2009 at 11:19 am Michael Street

    Alabama > Texas. It’s been that way all season, the sports writers finally had the bravado to make it happen. Plus, Alabama > Florida this season too.


    • on October 12, 2009 at 11:28 am Al Kenmore

      Ah, so you found those mushrooms.


  2. on October 12, 2009 at 11:52 am Flop

    SEC

    SEC

    SEC

    SEC

    SEC


  3. on October 12, 2009 at 12:05 pm Vagabond Joe

    “Their head coach is the Benedict Arnold of college football, Mr. Mack “I’m Not Planning to Leave Chapel Hill” Brown (yes, I’m still bitter).”

    I dig irony.


    • on October 12, 2009 at 12:19 pm Al Kenmore

      I didn’t realize that Roy Williams left Kansas before the NCAA Tournament. No wonder Kansas was upset. Also, it’s not like Kansas has suffered, exactly. But let’s look at UNC’s football program since Mack Brown left.

      That’s what I thought.


      • on October 12, 2009 at 2:08 pm Vagabond Joe

        Nope, just a week after almost winning it.

        All I’m saying is that, in the grand scheme of things, the “you’re just bitter” card can never be played toward Kansas fans as long as bitterness toward Brown exists.

        If comparing your football situation to Illinois in the ’03 carousel makes you feel more like it, then we’ll go with that instead.


  4. on October 12, 2009 at 2:34 pm Al Kenmore

    Okay, Vagabond, let me get this straight. I am supposed to forgive Mack Brown for pledging that he was staying at Chapel Hill the day before he left to coach Texas in *1997*, then leaving the next day and before the Tar Heels played in the Gator Bowl *all because* Roy Williams agreed to come to coach the Tar Heels after the NCAA Tournament was over–six years later? I’m supposed to say, “Gosh darn it, now that Roy Williams came to UNC, I think Mack Brown is a heck of nice guy and I wish him well?” Sorry, it’s not happening.

    And speaking of Illinois…I also dig irony.


    • on October 12, 2009 at 2:38 pm Vagabond Joe

      Nope.


  5. on October 12, 2009 at 5:01 pm Small Arms McGee

    You each owe me $500 for your continued use of “digging irony”.

    Thanks,
    S.A. McGee


    • on October 12, 2009 at 5:19 pm Vagabond Joe

      I’ll just deduct $10 for every bit you’ve ever stolen of mine.

      Hey, what do you know? You now owe ME $200.



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