America’s Sport?

Named for this nation's capitol , they bring shame to the US.

Baseball has long been called America’s sport or America’s pastime. Everyone in this great nation at least knows a bit about baseball. I’d go so far to say that most boys that grow up in America have played before and understand the rules. There are even two teams right by our nation’s capitol — the Baltimore Orioles and the Washington Nationals. And if you combine their number of wins, they’re slightly better than the Yankees.

My point is, our nation’s capitol has two teams and they suck. With every year that goes by, they suck a little more. And it’s America’s sport! I blame Obama. If he had put some of his American Revitalization and Reinvestment Act money towards the baseball teams around the nation’s capitol, maybe things would be looking better by now.

And so, as we move towards the playoffs of the 2009 season, yet again, the Orioles and Nationals won’t be playing. In fact, MLB could move to a 28 team playoff and those two teams would be the only 2 left out. It’s pathetic. Seriously, the DC area has enough decent athletes residing there that maybe it’s time to open up some tryouts. Just see if the common populace is better at baseball than these slackers.

I’m sick of watching small market teams laugh at us. Minne-fucking-sota has a better baseball team. All 9 Minnesotans love going to watch them play. So, maybe the size of the fanbase isn’t important. Maybe it’s the crime rate. We all know Baltimore is the anus of America and I’m sure some of their stink is rubbing off on Washington. But Cincinnati, Detroit, and Cleveland aren’t any nicer. In fact, Cleveland and Detroit suck so bad as cities, they compete with each other to establish who isn’t dead last in this country.

So, what is the problem? Like I said, I blame Obama, the players, and the management. So, congratulations Orioles and Nationals players and management, you’re essentially high school teams. So, this is a challenge to either of you: The Elitist Jerks at EJSIC publicly challenge you to a baseball game. If you win, you can keep embarrassing this great nation’s capital. If you lose, we’ll take over your team and make them good again.

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